Let's talk consent
TW : The following information contains topics that may be upsetting and triggering to some. If you need extra support, please go to the signposting tab below.
Any form of sexual harassment, misconduct or violence is never acceptable and has no place at Cardiff Students’ Union and Cardiff University.
Many people do not know the true definitions of these topics, making it difficult to identify if it has ever happened to them. Our aim is to educate students about the different kinds of sexual violence, raise awareness and provide support for those that have experienced them. Below, you will find information on consent, sexual assault and harassment, and where you can find support and reporting services.
More information on the following topics can be found under ‘Learn more about consent and sexual violence’
What is consent
Consent is given when all people involved in any kind of sexual activity agree to take part by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. Consent can be withdrawn at anytime.
If someone says no, or is silent, intoxicated, uncertain, coerced, unconscious or asleep then you do not have consent.
No consent = sexual violence
If you are unsure, ask questions and check in with them.
You must get enthusiastic* consent every time. ‘Yes’ now, does not mean ‘yes’, the next time.
*Looking for the presence of a ‘Yes’, rather than the absence of a ‘No’.
What is consent
- “Yes!”
- Talking to the other person about what you/they do and don’t want
- Checking in – e.g. asking “is this okay?”
- Respecting their choice
What is not consent
- Flirting
- Knowing someone
- Body reactions
- Clothing
- Being in a relationship
- Silence
- Uncertainty
- No response
- Pulling away
- Changing their mind
What is sexual harassment and assault
Sexual violence is any form of sexual activity that happens without consent. Many people are unsure what this means or if it has happened to them. It can involve any sexual activity or act that you did not want, or one or more of the following:
- Bullying
- Deception
- Force
- Intimidation
- Manipulation
- Pressure
- Threats
The types of sexual violence are:
Indecent exposure or ‘flashing’
“Indecent exposure or ‘flashing’ is when someone shows their genitals in order to scare or upset another person.”
Cyber Flashing
“When someone sends a photo or video of their genitals – or some else’s – to another person without their consent.”
This usually happens in the form of ‘dick picks’.
Rape
“This is defined in English and Welsh law as the intentional penetration with a penis of another person's vagina, anus or mouth without their consent."
Stealthing
“It is also rape if someone removes a condom without the other person’s consent during sex – what is commonly known as ‘stealthing’."
Sexual assault
“This is defined in English and Welsh law as sexual touching of another person without their consent, with any part of the body or with anything else. This includes unwanted kissing or touching or being forced to perform sexual acts. It could also include the touching of someone’s clothing.”
Groping, grabbing, grinding, touching without consent is sexual assault
Sexual harassment
“Any unwanted behaviour of a sexual nature that makes a person feel upset, scared or ashamed. It can take lots of different forms. For example, a person’s body being stared at or being sent messages with sexual content. “
Behaving in a sexual way when they don’t want you to is sexual harassment
Spiking
“When someone puts alcohol or drugs into another person’s drink or body without their knowledge or consent.”
This also includes vapes
More information provided by the charity rape crisis can be found here: rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/
Safe Sex
Shag Safe is our sexual health campaign which aims to provide you with information about safe sex! SHAG stands for Sexual Health, Awareness and Guidance, and our aim is to provide useful information so you can keep yourself sexually healthy. Whether that is information on contraception and PrEP or how to collect your free STI testing kits, we have got you covered!
Students’ Union Advice page on Sexual Health
How can you be an Active Bystander?
Sometimes a situation may not seem right or a person might overstep the line. This can be inappropriate comments made by a friend or you spot someone being harassed.
An active bystander means being aware of when someone's behaviour is innappropriate or threatening and choosing to act and challenge that behaviour or assist someone who needs support.
You can be an Active Bystander by doing one or more of the following:
- Only intervene if it is safe to do so
- Direct - Call out negative behaviour
- Distract - Create a diversion or start a conversation
- Delegate - Tell security or a member of staff
- Document - Make note of what happened, where you are, a discription of the perpetrator etc.
- Delay - If it is not safe, check in with the victim afterwards
If you notice someone being harassed or assaulted you can be an Active Bystander by doing one or more of the following:
Signposting
Please remember you are not to blame. If you have been through any kind of sexual violence, no matter how long ago or what you were doing, it was not your fault.
Supporting a friend
Intervene if you notice someone being harassed or assaulted:
- Only intervene if safe to do so
- Distract – pretend to recognize the person being harassed and talk to them
- Report – tell a member of staff/security if inside the SU
- Describe – make note of what is happening, where you are, description of the perpetrator, report to the police
- Don’t be a bystander
- Recovery for survivors looks different for everyone. Everyone responds differently to sexual violence, so their feelings are a valid response. Believe them, ask them if it’s okay to touch them, encourage their choices, check you have consent.
Sports Club and Society Resources
What is Consent?
How to be an Active Bystander?
What is Sexual Harassment and Assault?
Trafod Cydsyniad
Rhybudd: Mae'r wybodaeth ganlynol yn cynnwys themau gall achosi pryder i rai. Os oes angen cefnogaeth bellach arnoch, ewch i'r adran gyfeirio isod.
Nid yw unrhyw fath o aflonyddu, camymddwyn, neu drais rhywiol erioed yn dderbyniol ac nid oes ganddo unrhyw le yn Undeb Myfyrwyr Caerdydd na Phrifysgol Caerdydd.
Nid yw llawer o bobl yn gwybod gwir ddiffiniadau'r pynciau yma, gan ei wneud yn anodd iddynt adnabod os yw wedi digwydd iddyn nhw. Ein nod yw addysgu myfyrwyr am wahanol fathau o drais rhywiol, codi ymwybyddiaeth, a darparu cefnogaeth i rheiny sydd wedi'i brofi. Isod dewch o hyd i wybodaeth ar gydsyniad, ymosod a thrais rhywiol, a gwasanaethau cefnogaeth ac adrodd.
Gellir dod o hyd i ragor o wybodaeth ar y pynciau canlynol o dan 'Dysgu mwy am gydsyniad a thrais rhywiol'.
Beth yw cydsyniad?
Caiff cydsyniad ei roi pan fydd pob person sy'n rhan o unrhyw fath o weithgaredd rhywiol yn cytuno i gymryd rhan gyda'r rhyddid a gallu i wneud y dewis yno. Gellir tynnu cydsyniad yn ôl ar unrhyw adeg.
Os yw rhywun yn dweud na, maent yn ddistaw, meddw, ansicr, dan bwysau, anymwybodol, neu'n cysgu, nid oes gennych gydsyniad.
Dim cydsyniad = trais rhywiol
Os ydych yn ansicr, gofynnwch gwestiynau a gwiriwch gyda nhw.
Rhaid i chi dderbyn cydsyniad brwdfrydig* bob tro. Nid yw 'ie' nawr yn golygu 'ie' y tro nesaf.
*Edrych am bresenoldeb 'ie', yn hytrach nag absenoldeb 'na'.
Beth yw cydsyniad
- “Ie!”
- Siarad gyda'r person arall am beth maent/nad ydynt am wneud
- Gwirio – e.e. gofyn “ydy hyn yn iawn?”
- Parchu eu dewis
Beth nad sy'n gydsyniad
- Fflyrtio
- Adnabod rhywun
- Ymateb corfforol
- Dillad
- Bod mewn perthynas
- Distawrwydd
- Ansicrwydd
- Dim ymateb
Beth yw aflonyddu a thrais rhywiol
Mae trais rhywiol yn cynnwys unrhyw fath o weithred rywiol sy'n digwydd heb gydsyniad. Mae llawer o bobl yn ansicr am beth mae hyn yn ei olygu neu os yw wedi digwydd iddyn nhw. Gall gynnwys unrhyw weithred rywiol nad oeddech ei eisiau, neu un neu mwy o'r canlynol:
- Bwlio
- Twyll
- Grym
- Bygwth
- Pwysau
Y mathau o drais rhywiol yw:
Dinoethi anweddus
Dinoethi anweddus yw pan fydd rhywun yn dangos eu horganau cenhedlu er mwyn codi ofn neu ofid ar berson arall.
Dinoethi anweddus seiber
Pan fydd rhywun yn anfon llun neu fideo o'u horganau cenedlu - neu rhai rhywun arall - i berson arall heb eu cydsyniad.
Mae hyn fel arfer yn digwydd ar ffurf ‘dick picks’.
Treisio
Mae hwn wedi'i ddiffinio yng nghyfraith Cymru a Lloegr fel treiddio pwrpasol o wain, anws, neu geg rhywun arall gyda phidyn heb eu cydsyniad. Mae hefyd yn drais os yw rhywun yn tynnu condom heb gydsyniad y person arall yn ystod rhyw - gelwir hyn yn 'stealthio'.
Ymosod rhywiol
Caiff hyn ei ddiffinio mewn yng nghyfraith Cymru a Lloegr fel cyffwrdd â pherson arall mewn modd rhywiol heb eu cydsyniad, gydag unrhyw ran o'r corff neu unrhyw beth arall. Mae hyn yn cynnwys cusanu neu gyffwrdd digroeso, neu orfodi rhywun i gyflawni gweithredoedd rhywiol. Gall hefyd cynnwys gafael yn nillad rhywun.
Mae gafael, cyffwrdd, a gropio heb gydsyniad yn ymosod rhywiol.
Aflonyddu rhywiol
Unrhyw ymddygiad digroeso o natur rywiol sy'n gwneud i berson deimlo ofn, gofid, neu gywilydd. Gall gymryd sawl ffurf wahanol. Er enghraifft, syllu ar gorff rhywun neu anfon negeseuon gyda chynnwys rhywiol.
Mae ymddwyn mewn ffordd rywiol pan nad ydynt eisiau i chi wneud yn aflonyddu rhywiol.
Sbeicio
Pan fydd rhywun yn rhoi alcohol neu gyffuriau yn niod neu gorff rhywun arall heb iddynt wybod neu heb eu cydsyniad.
Mae hyn hefyd yn cynnwys fêps.
Gellir gweld mwy o wybodaeth wedi'i darparu gan yr elusen Rape Crisis yma: rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/
Secs Saff
Secs Saff yw ein hymgyrch iechyd rhywiol gyda'r nod o ddarparu gwybodaeth i chi ynglyn â rhyw ddiogel! Ein nod yw rhannu gwybodaeth ddefnyddiol i'ch helpu i aros yn iach. Boed yn wybodaeth am ddulliau atal cenhedlu a PrEP neu sut i gasglu profion STI am ddim, rydym yma i helpu!
Tudalen Cyngor Iechyd Rhywiol Undeb y Myfyrwyr
Cyfeirio
Cofiwch, nid chi sydd ar fai. Os ydych wedi profi unrhyw fath o drais rhywiol, dim ots pa mor hir yn ôl neu beth ddigwyddodd, nid chi oedd ar fai.
Cefnogi ffrind
Ceisiwch ymyrryd os welwch rywun yn cael ei aflonyddu neu ymosod :
- Dylech ond ymyrryd os yw'n ddiogel i wneud felly
- Tynnu sylw – smaliwch eich bod yn adnabod y person sy'n cael ei aflonyddu a siaradwch gyda nhw
- Adrodd – rhowch wybod i aelod o staff/tîm diogelwch os yn yr UM
- Disgrifio – gwnewch nodyn o'r hyn sy'n digwydd, ble ydych chi, disgrifiad o'r cyflawnwr, adroddwch i'r heddlu
- Peidiwch gadw'n dawel
- Mae gwella yn edrych yn wahanol i bawb. Mae pawb yn ymateb yn wahanol i drais rhywiol, ac mae ei holl deimladau yn ymateb dilys. Credwch nhw, gofynnwch a yw'n iawn i gyffwrdd â nhw, annogwch eu dewisiadau, gwiriwch fod gennych gydsyniad.
Derbyn cymorth
Gwasanaethau UM/Prifysgol