PUB GOLF
Last wednesday we played pub golf and firstly I'd like to thank everyone who turned up and got invloved.It was probably one of the biggest socials we've had, seeing there was over 50 of us at one point. Everyone seemed to have an awesome night and it was great to see loads of new faces.
The revised nine hole course, which included an extra pint from last year, seemed a tricky par 27. However it didn't present much of a challenge to the seasoned drinkers of our society. The Treasurer Rob Skornia scored 9 along with Billy, Huw, Jarred, Toolio, Dave Morgan and many others no doubt. As we haven't recieved signed scorecards from Toolio, Jarred, Dave etc they have been disqualified. I disqualify myself (Bill) as after I downed my last drink I was chucked out of Lloyds and preceeded to voilently vomit within close proximity to the entrance. Therefore Huw and Rob are joint winners with rob winning the play off jug of vodka red bull!
I know what your all thinking...what happened to Elliot Shaw/E-lo, who (judging by some video evidence) drank with an abudance of style and speed? Why didn't he win?
Well hush hush young ones. E-lo was crusing in 1st place after downing the first five drinks. He strolled into The Taf expecting an easy birdie with a bottle of Reef. Unfortunately for our founding member things turned sour as he started to down his drink. Rob Skornia, E-lo's playing partner, also started to drink when he realised E-lo had committed a cardinal pub golfing sin, he was drinking with his illegal bare hand and not the gloved hand. Of course Rob began to point, once E-lo realised his reaction wasn't surprising.
He fell to his knees smashing his hand into the greasy alcohol covered, vinyl flooring and cried with some emotion, 'not on a technicality, not like this'. Clearly deeply hurt by the two shot penalty and a score of 2, elliot thought by attempting to smash a bottle on his head, things would suddenly be okay again! Unable to smash the reef bottle he became disillusioned and in incognitos he slumped to a 17 on a par 3 after nonchalently sipping his glass of 1987 Chateux Neuf Du Pape.
Other stories have reached my ears since last wed. Most notably one from a fresher only known by the knickname 'Chav'.
Once completing the course our burberry dresser, only a hour later found himself in tesco's extra, where he ordered a cheese pasty and then set off the alarm by attempting to walk out with it without paying! legendary. Sorry, his name wasn't chav was it...ahh i see.
The ladies competition was fiercly fought by many aswell. The coveted Tim Knott's Lady Boy Links was an equally challenging course on paper but lady members Joe (guest), Marie and Loni all completed the course. Unfortunately Tim Knott himself was unable to participate due to growing fears that his girlfriend may beat him.
Any more stories from this infamous night, please email us. Sorry if I haven't acknowleged other winners, let us know cos were all struggling from a severe memory loss.
The photos will be posted soon and can be found in our photo gallery.
Named and shamed!
Loni - despite a great effort with a score of 9, there has been some controversy after the event, that she was seen taken a certain member of the society to the toilets with her in the taf, but not her partner!
Charlotte duffer / Racheal Hampton - CHEATING. This is never tolerated! A blatant attempt to fob their drink off in the social and miss out the hole. Ok an n/r occurs from time to time but to lie and say you have completed the hole in one is out of order! They will be punished by the PINKY!
Toolio / partner - Verbally abusing the committee in both the social and varsity, boys, sit down, shut up, go home!
Rachel our ever loved female social sec - Unashamably pissing in the style of a five year old boy in incognito's male toilets. Rachel, pub golf is not the time for party tricks!
Lost and found?
Has anyone seen young David Morgan since pub golf? Rumour has it he's lost on the course some where?
Thanks again to all!
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LAST YEARS CARNAGE
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