C.U.C.C. ON TOUR - WEST INDIES 2003DAY 1
* Jo and Diggles manage to get lost in airport afterDiggles mum had expressed concern for her son's inability
to look after himself
* Barbados ridiculously hot upon arrival, followed later by
the heaviest rain storm ever
* Banks flowing but too tired to go out
DAY 2
* Mike Matthews makes astonishing early appearance to umpire and get pissed.* First game cancelled due to waterlogged pitch
* Fielding practice
* Tucks falls on his arse in big puddle
* Reagan can't catch for shit
* Go to beach for beach cricket, dog tans rich bird on arse
* 'All You Can Eat' (Bollocks!!) BBQ at hotel
* BOATHOUSE all you can drink (thats better) for BS$35
(~£11)
* Cat sleeps on top of wardrobe
DAY 3
* Hamilton shows everyone up with an embarrasing battingdisplay
* Crap fish pate sandwiches
* First match won
* HARBOUR LIGHTS Will battered, jumps in pool fully clothed
* Ed goes crazy on some bird in taxi home
DAY 4
* Dog leads team out to first defeat of tour* Opposition pissing themselves at Dogs batting. Slow hand clap by team members leads to a seriously pissed off dog.
DAY 5
* Fatting around in pool and sea all day* HARBOUR LIGHTS again
DAY 6
* Unforgettable day on catamaran not least for Machine'sbehaviour
* Snorkelling with fish and turtles
* Free food (top quality) + free beer
* Machine performs like a circus animal and gets battered
* Kensington Oval (Pickwick vs. Combined Schools) Ed gets
to field
* Machine explodes after Will takes things too far (Ha!). All Hamilton's fault really!
* BOATYARD Thong contest (Miss Miami - nuff said!!)
DAY 7
* More beach* Pizzas - will and sheps defeated by a 'Ridiculuz'
impressive effort though
* Meet american girls who come to hotel to watch Poo's quality karaoke effort
DAY 8
* Good pitch, rubbish outfield* Easy victory
* Muse runs out Robbo
* Good performances from Tucks and Hamilton
* Early night for everyone in prep for big game
DAY 9
* 3W's Oval* Machine takes wicket with first ball
* Wickets for Robbo (4?)
* Bowled them out for 124
* Dog takes the world's greatest ever catch (OK but it was
quite special). Diggs drops an ABSOLUTE shocker!
* Fell 6 runs short of target
* Free food and beer after match, swap shirts, chat with
oppo., and see where Australia trained
* BOATYARD Willem pulls 33yr old on hol with her 15yr old
son! (Yes he was there too!!)
* Dog's sexuality under serious question (vote now!!)
DAY 10
* Beach, massive waves smash everyone into beach and rocks* Saw jellyfish, legged it, left family to suffer their
fate without warning
* HARBOUR LIGHTS massive pulling with all american birds
DAY 11
* Beach at sandy lane for last time* No show from american birds
* Fly to Tobago via Grenada
DAY 12
* Lloyd eats goat* Pelican Point
* Parrot on bar, drank cocktails
* Hammy eats shark
* Dumbass waiter needs calculator for everything
DAY 13
* Game vs. Cavaliers C.C.* Hammy slated for being a youngster
* Bowled them out for 100
* Lloyd wears one on the chest before rain stops play
DAY 14
* Heavy rain* Bowler/Batsman/Man of tour - Hamilton/Muse/Big Steve
* Island tour through rainforest, saw Dwight Yorke's school
* Diggles, 3 Spanish men, and a cash machine!!!
